He turned away from the world and laid back down on the bed. The song looped, the jagged guitar riff cutting through the static of his thoughts. The "Sudno"—the bedpan, the vessel, the end. He closed his eyes, letting the cold waves of the synthesizer wash over him until the room, the city, and the gray sky finally dissolved into the beat.
He picked up a small cassette player and pressed play. The drum machine kicked in first—stiff, mechanical, relentless. Then came the bass, a deep, driving throb that felt like walking through thick mud. When the vocals drifted in, low and detached, they sounded like a man singing from the bottom of a well. He turned away from the world and laid back down on the bed
He reached for a glass of lukewarm tea, but his hand stopped. On the table lay a small, white pill and a copy of a poem by Boris Ryzhy. He knew the lines by heart now. Living is difficult and expensive, but dying is easy and free. The irony was the only thing that made him smile lately, a sharp, jagged twitch of the lips. He closed his eyes, letting the cold waves